Product Review : Slimming Tea.

You see loads of adverts on the tele promoting slim-fast products. Some sounds legit... some sounds too good to be true. Anyways, I was complaining bout my expanding waistline... ranting bout how hard it is to lose that damn ring of blubber; which could double as a floatation device. I was then made to eat my words when I was offered a sachet of slimming tea to try out.

But before I dunked it into hot boiling water, I was warned that it might increase bowel movements significantly. I scoffed at that notion and said if I can stomach cili padi and daily nasi kandar fare, I can tahan anything. I have after all, a Penangite stomach; a caldron of super hot effective digestive juices.

Boiling water was ready at around 11pm. The teabag was dumped into a widemouth mug and in went the scalding liquid. The instructions stated that I steep the teabag for a maximum of 5-10 minutes before drinking for first timers. I can then increase the steeping time gradually over the next few times. Peh... weaklings. I decided to leave the teabag to steep for an hour to maximize the effect. Hardcore mah... :P

At 12 plus, I drank the tea. It was pretty thick in consistency. There was a strong minty taste with nice traces of other herbal infusions as well. It went down well with me. No probs so far. I felt great. I then went to sleep to let the thingy work overnight.

I woke up at around six. I felt some mild discomfort at the lower abdominal region. I dismissed it and went back to sleep. I woke up again at around 8. This time, I felt huge stabbing pains around the same area. Oh fak. This was bad. I went to pay a visit to the porcelain throne. Boom. All hell broke lose. After what seems like an eternity in the loo, I stumble back into my room. I then experienced abdominal pain spasms for another hour or so before I could sit up properly. Anyways... it's now around 11 and I finally feel a little better.

Holy waramasakura. That tea was really good shite. I must have lost like 2-3kgs this mornings. Lesson learnt; slimming tea does work, albeit in a way I totally didn't expect. Also learnt; instructions are there for a reason. Dun pandai-pandai use your guestimate to increase potency.

Oww...

*Update : I did a net search on slimming tea. Turns out some brands contain senna extract which irritates the colon and induces diarrhea. Damn... that's the last time I'm trying it... not worth the suffering...

**Update 2 : Fark man. This isn't funny anymore. Day 2 and my stomach is still acting up every now and then. Decided to pop in 2 activated charcoal tablets to stop the madness... hopefully. Fark... fark... knnccb!!!

Product review status : Aborted. Test subject konk out before yielding any substancial results...